Merry Christmas, Ho, Ho. Ho.
Watched the old-time Hollywood White Christmas last night, with Bing Crosby singing that he was dreaming of a white Christmas, as were they all. Great old musical. For the penultimate scene, the barn doors are opened to reveal a snow-covered rural wonderland, the Hollywood idealized Christmas. Just like nearly all Christmas cards. Snow is the ideal for Christmas.
Did you ever notice that there’s frequently a difference between the real and the ideal?
Snowed in here. As you may know, Portland generally pretty much shuts down with only an inch of snow. When that happens, all the busses mount chains and the schools close. And beyond that, not many decisions get made as snow is a great mystery ’round here, causing virgins to hide their expressions of indecision in their skirts and fearless men to weep in confusion. There’s only maybe a couple of dozen snow shovels altogether in the entire metropolitan area, and they can’t be located as their owners forgot where they put them last.
Well, this time, we really have real snow. We’ve been getting it for a week and a half now and there’s another few inches scheduled for today, and more to follow tomorrow. Temps haven’t been above freezing for two weeks, so we have significant accumulation. Why? Because our city management is staffed with idealists who’ve evidently become stuck on the notion that their job is to protect the environment from the consequences of civilization. As I say, idealists.
If it comes to a real choice between clearing the roads of snow and moving people from home to work safely using the roads and vehicles we have, or keeping the environment safe for Thumper Bunnyrabbit to receive a visit in his warm, cozy burrow under a tree from his friend, Angela Squirrel, so they can hang their Christmas stockings on the mantelpiece, well, be sure to leave plenty of travel time and keep the trunk of your car stocked and ready for emergencies. As I say, idealists. And since an ideal city would move its citizens around to their destinations, brewpubs after work and coffee bars before and during, by means of light rail, suspended trams, monorails and bicycles, well, if you want to get around, plan on squatting down with cold breezes blowing down the back of your pants as you mount tire chairs on your car. It’s our way.
As for me, well, I’d rather watch the movie than try to live the ideal. Happy Holidays.
